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Top 7 Job Ideas for Mitt Romney

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Top 7 Job Ideas for Mitt Romney

[EDIT: The race is over. We can now go back to our normally scheduled lives.]

The battle for President of the United States is almost over. It’s been a tight race, but one of our esteemed candidates will soon have to admit defeat and, as they say in corporate resignation announcements, “explore other opportunities.”

Just in case Mitt Romney happens to be that candidate, I have taken the liberty of brainstorming some fall-back career ideas for him. Sure, he’ll still be a wealthy and well respected former Governor, but we can hardly expect Mitt to stay on the sidelines for long. (Also, see our Barack Obama job ideas post)

He’s still in his 60s, so maybe it’s time for Mitt to try some more adventurous career paths that will position him better for another possible presidential run.

(This is all in good fun, and I helpfully provided the same service for Mr. Obama over here).

Career Option 1: Star in a Buddy Cop Movie

Mitt Romney Paul Ryan Buddy Cop Movie

In the tradition of the Lethal Weapon movies, Romney & Ryan team up to battle crime on the big screen. One is a grizzled veteran, the other, a hot-headed loose canon – sparks will fly!!

Danny Glover would of course play the always-fed-up police captain who gives them “one more chance” to take down the bad guy.

Career Option 2: Starbucks Barista

Mitt Romney Starbucks Barista

What better way to show you’re a man of the people than slinging hot cups of joe. Only drawback: Mitt’s not allowed caffeine… bummer.

Career Option 3: Male Stripper

Magic Mitt

If the job market is still tough, Mitt could work his way into Chippendale’s. This could also help his approval rating with the ladies in the next election.

Career Option 4: Binder King

Mitt Romney's Binder Emporium

At Big Mitt’s, all binders [of women] MUST go. This could be a huge business opportunity since he single-handedly put binders on the map… plus think of the franchising rights.

Career Option 5: Hunger Games Lead Organizer

Mitt Romney Hunger Games

Given his huge success with the Salt Lake City Olympics, Mitt would be a natural choice to make the Hunger Games actually happen. Would also help shore up the youth vote… well, maybe not. May the odds be ever in his favor.

Career Option 6: Pet Transport Service

Mitt Romney Pet Transport

Have a pet that needs to get from A to B? Why not give your furry friend the ability to see the sights in style… first-hand.

Career Option 7: Return to Private Equity

Mitt Romney Bane Capital

While it might be a little cliche, Mitt could return to his private equity roots, but with a twist. I hear the market is bullish on life-supporting breathing masks.

Do you have thoughts on other alternative careers for Mitt Romney?


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3 Comments to Top 7 Job Ideas for Mitt Romney

  1. Tim

    I am going to admit this is not that funny. If I have to go with a choice, I would say #2 (or maybe Bain Capital would purchase America’s favorite coffee brewer and ship it to China). Or become the next Carl Icahn!

  2. Tim

    Actually I have a better one … he can have his own sitcom on Bravo called “Rolling with the Romneys!”

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