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Answering Behavioral Interview Questions: Handling Conflict

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Part of our ongoing series to help you answer common behavioral interview questions.

Hiring managers love to ask behavioral questions — and one of their favorite subjects is conflict. Here are a few examples of conflict-related behavioral questions:

• Tell me about a team project when you had to work with someone difficult.
• Tell me about a time you had a conflict at work.
• Give an example of a time you had to respond to an unhappy manager/customer/colleague.
• Tell me about a time that you disagreed with a rule or approach.

There are many other variations on this theme and it is a very common interview topic. From the interviewer’s perspective, the idea is to find out about the candidate’s conflict management ability and general interpersonal skills.

Recently, I was conducting an interview skills workshop for managers at a large corporation. The subject of “conflict” behavioral questions came up (this big multinational company uses primarily behavioral questions when interviewing candidates).

One manager shared a memorable answer to “How would you handle a conflict at work?” A recent candidate responded: “I’d invite that person to meet me in the parking lot after work and sort it out man-to-man.”

Guess what? He didn’t get the job.

Before we tell you how to answer the question like a champ, here’s a little refresher on answering behavioral interview questions in general.

NOTE: This is Lesson 10 from the Big Interview interview training system. Take a quick look here if you want to learn more about it.

Behavioral Interviewing Refresher


Most job interviews include behavioral questions (those questions that typically start with “Tell me about a time…” or “Give me an example of…” or similar).

With behavioral questions, interviewers seek examples of how you’ve handled specific situations in the past. The idea is that past job performance will say a lot about how you would handle yourself if hired for the job at hand.

Learn more about behavioral interview questions and some general advice on preparing for and answering them.

Why Interviewers Ask About Conflict

Most jobs require you to get along with different types of people. Some of your coworkers, managers, and/or clients will turn out to be idiots, slackers, and/or weirdos. Disagreements are bound to arise.

To succeed at work, you must be able to deal with conflict professionally. This is particularly true in certain jobs (project management, customer service, law) and in certain company cultures.

Your interviewer wants to get a sense of how you will respond to conflict. Anyone can seem nice and pleasant in a job interview, but what will happen if you’re hired and Gladys in Compliance starts getting in your face?

Conflict questions are common because everybody wants to hire a good “team player.” (It is probably the most common behavioral question subject) Interviewers often ask about your team experiences and they like to ask specifically about one that involved a conflict or “difficult person.”

How to Answer Behavioral Questions About Conflict


This type of question can catch you off-guard. After all, you’ve probably been focusing on how to talk about all of the positive and wonderful bullet points on your resume.

Nobody likes to talk about conflict at work. Most work conflicts are boring. Plus, you’d probably prefer to pretend that you are an absolute delight to work with and that nobody has ever had an unkind word to say about you.

A behavioral question about conflict forces you to talk about a less-than-delightful situation. It can be difficult to come up with a good example on the fly — and even more difficult to describe in concisely in a way that presents you in a favorable light.

This is why it’s important to prepare an example in advance using the S.T.A.R format.

The goal is not to script out an answer word-for-word. The STAR format allows you to structure the general shape of your response by jotting down bullets for each of the key aspects of the story. Check out Big Interview for more guidance on structuring great STAR stories — and an Answer Builder tool that you can use to make the process much easier.

Sample Answer — “Tell Me About a Time You Had a Conflict on a Team Project.”

Here’s an overview of how to use the STAR format specifically to present a conflict experience:

S/T (Situation/Task)

— Briefly describe the context for the conflict that arose. Provide just enough background information for context.

Example Situation/Task Bullets

• I was managing the creation of our new corporate brochure and we were on a very tight deadline because we had to have brochures printed in time for a big upcoming trade show.

• I was in charge of delivering on time and I had to manage team members from Marketing, Sales, Graphic Design, and Product Management.

• The designer that was assigned to the project was very talented, but unfortunately missed a deadline that I assigned. When I approached him about it, he blew up at me.

Why We Like Them

These bullets provide good context — it was an important and complex project with a tight deadline. The designer not only missed a deadline, but threw a fit when called on it. This is a real conflict that could have led to disaster if handled poorly.

Tip: Don’t get too caught up in unnecessary details. The interviewer doesn’t need to know about the color scheme of the brochure, the history of the trade show, or the designer’s weird wardrobe choices.

A (Approach)

— Talk about the key actions that you took. In the case of a conflict story, the focus should be on how resolved the disagreement in a professional and productive way.

Example Approach Bullets

• I was taken aback by his response, but I remained calm. I acknowledged that the deadlines were tight and explained again the reasoning and the importance of having the brochure ready for the trade show.

• He relaxed a little when he saw that I wasn’t attacking him. He told me about all of his other competing projects and how overwhelmed he was. I asked him if there was any way that I could help him come up with a solution.

• Eventually, we agreed that it would help if his manager had a better understanding of how important and time-consuming this project was. We decided we would speak with her together.

• She ended up assigning some of his other projects to another designer, which took some of the pressure off of him.

Why We Like Them

This candidate walks through the actions taken and why. He shows that he stayed calm under pressure, tackled the issue head-on, and was able to persuade others (the designer and his manager) to his point of view.

Tip: Again, stick to the actions that are most relevant and that show your conflict-management prowess.

R (Results)

— Every good interview story includes a happy ending. End your response with a description of the positive outcome(s) of your action. These results can be quantifiable (increased sales 20%, saved the company $25K) or anecdotal (The client was thrilled and sent my manager an email, my manager loved my approach and gave me a promotion).

Example Results Bullets

• As a result, the designer was able to focus on the brochure and meet the deadlines.

• He apologized for his blow-up and thanked me for my help.

• We successfully completed the brochure in time for the trade show and received numerous compliments from both our own sales reps and potential customers.

• Our trade show presence led to $300,000 in new sales leads and I believe the new brochure played a key role in that.

Why We Like Them

This is a nice, concise happy ending. The candidate describes the resolution of the conflict, the positive effect on the relationship with the designer, and the business outcome.

Tip: The bottom-line results ($$$) make it even more impressive. This is not possible with every conflict-resolution story, but you should always pick the example with the most significant results.

Inside Big Interview, our complete training system for job interviews, we give you video lessons, sample answers, and an interactive practice tool for all of these different versions of conflict interview questions. Watch this brief video to learn a little more about Big Interview, and then take a quick look at the step-by-step system we’ve developed to get you ready for your interview.

More Tips for Handling Behavioral Questions About Work Conflicts


1. Pick a Good Example:

• Choose an example that shows you taking an active approach to resolving an important conflict.

• Be specific. Don’t give a general answer like, “I deal with conflicts all the time and have learned to stay calm and that communication is key.” It’s boring and it doesn’t answer the question.

• Don’t choose a minor disagreement (“He didn’t want Italian for lunch”) or a conflict that was resolved by someone else or just went away without direct action. The idea here is to show off your interpersonal skills and problem-solving ability.

• Avoid examples that could make you look bad. For example, don’t share a time when your mistake or miscommunication CAUSED a conflict.

2. Get Specific About Your Actions

• The most memorable and compelling stories include enough detail to paint a picture. Show why this conflict was important and that you handled it capably.

• However, you must make an effort to keep the story concise. It’s very easy to go off on tangents (especially if you haven’t prepared in advance). Keep it focused.

• Stick to bullet points. Don’t try to memorize a script.

3. Practice

Take the time to practice telling your story. This is especially important when telling a story about a conflict.

Conflicts often lead to arguments, problems, and damaged/broken professional relationships. You want to feel confident discussing the sensitive details in a way that gets your points across.

Funny example of Adam Sandler NOT handling conflict well.

Written by

Pamela Skillings

Pamela Skillings is co-founder of Big Interview. As an interview coach, she has helped her clients land dream jobs at companies including Google, Microsoft, Goldman Sachs, and JP Morgan Chase. She also has more than 15 years of experience training and advising managers at organizations from American Express to the City of New York. She is an adjunct professor at New York University and an instructor at the American Management Association.

48 Comment to Answering Behavioral Interview Questions: Handling Conflict

  • Anonymous

    Behavioral question is all about how good are you on bullshiting, cause most of the times you have to create a success story that never exist and the
    interviewer is unable to know if is real or not.

  • Anonymous

    Behavioral question is all about how good are you on bullshiting, cause most of the times you have to create a success story that never exist and the
    interviewer is unable to know if is real or not.

  • Vivek Randhawa

    Please help with this question: who is important client or people? Thanks

  • John Ten

    I got a version on weakness working for “government” agency who as you know loves to follow policy and procedures.

    One of my biggest weakness is I follow orders and never question procedures and status quo. Although this has its merits but in order to improve, we must be open to change in the face of changing Information Technology trends and better and more efficient ways to leverage the latest available Best Practices to keep up with the times.

    Some might think it’s a strength – who knows – depending on who you work for.

  • Param

    Agreed 100% what you said about the age and other factors. My recent interview experience with a real estate went very well (that’s what I thought). Called the interviewer back after the rejection letter and asked her advise that how I can improve better in future interviews. She said that I have lot more experience than what they are looking for and thought I might get bored (they are paying a 6 digit salary for that job, how can I get bored 🙂 and the other feedback was, one of the interviewer didn’t like my accent ……(i know how you feel?)

  • Param

    You are so true. Just to get a job and survive, you have to lie and move forward – how sad it is? I am living in a world,I don’t know what’s going on and where it’s going?….

  • I enjoyed reading this article. That’s Really Nice and helpful.

  • Viorel Predatorul

    “Yes” – end of story 🙂
    Behavioral questions are “open” questions, or yours is a “closed” one, where you can reply in short with yes/no.

  • Viorel Preda

    Pay attention: they ask “describe a time when”, which sounds like a “behavioral question”; your suggested reply is for a “situational question” (what would you do if…)

  • Viorel Preda

    I would say a candidate who never had conflicts at work in the past, could not handle a conflict in the future. These interviews are meant to predict the future behavior by assessing the past behavior. Therefore, it is wise to tell them that you were involved in some conflicts in the past, but show them that you were not the cause.

  • Shawn Wager

    Conflict doesn’t only include aggression or abuse. Conflict can relate to differences in interest, such as how to invest time or money. “Blocker” personalities are renowned for creating conflict. A great way to handle these conflicts is to stay calm, discuss the goal or direction of the company, and come to a resolution that supports those goals. By “avoiding conflict” or “never had conflict”, the candidate is telling the interviewer that they have never expressed or experienced interest in growth or direction. Depending on the description of the position, this type of candidate may not be appropriate. One must remember that companies don’t move forward with individuals working as individuals, we must work as a team and as a team, we have conflicts. This is natural. How do you handle conflict?

  • NursePenelope

    I SO appreciate this article! For several years I had a collection of “conflict” stories I would use in interviews, which weren’t all that interesting or relevant. These interview styles are becoming so common, it is best to go online and find stories rather than not having any stories of your own. Just tailor them to your own career and change them up a bit, and think about them thoroughly. Unfortunately, employers are pushing people into creating these lies, rather than having honest discussions with people, they fast-fire these conflict-based questions at you when maybe you don’t have all that many stories to tell.

  • NursePenelope

    The amount of money you are paid doesn’t determine whether the job will bore your or not – maybe they could tell you were just in it for the pay

  • NursePenelope

    Agreed! They are forcing us to make up these stories. A person who has all kinds of conflict stories for real – probably they are the problem!

  • NursePenelope

    I would laugh and say “oh, you want me to tell you about a Seinfeld episode?” Honestly, what a dumb question.

  • Handy Leon

    Correct

  • Handy Leon

    The truth is one day you will find a job.

  • The Wind Caller

    If you say you never have conflicts at your workplace, you’re basically lying. You for sure have conflicts but those are the ones you don’t want to tell, that’s why you make up things. If you don’t have any success or can’t identify a success, I suggest you move to a different company where you can find success and can proudly speak about it.

  • The Wind Caller

    WTF? are you a robot? Basically answer Yes and give a story to back it up. We can’t come up with answers for you.

  • Kiero Vance™ (Kyrobolt)

    and the second truth is…your probably not gonna fully like the job, but you might as well do your best, because it allows you to do things like: Pay bills, get food… live… XD! -is just being a dumb***-

  • AlFateh1969

    So true! I honestly haven’t had any major conflict with anyone. So I have make up one. So stupid these interviews. Fuck them! We can’t have an honest discussion.

  • AlFateh1969

    No, I haven’t had any MAJOR conflict at the workplace. Whatever conflict I had were minor and insignificant and can’t be used as an example in an interview because it’s not big enough. If you’re having major conflicts, maybe it’s because you’re a trouble maker. So no, I’m not lying to myself and have to make up to satisfy the stupidity of interviews.

  • Babita Ram

    STAR is a very helpful framework. It helps putting together the situation, action and result and reminds at every stage how to remain focused on highlighting the strengths and value we bring in a given instance for the specific role.